Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Your cock deserves a montage
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
