She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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