Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
