you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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