Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
