She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
