i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize