You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
