She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize