I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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