u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
