forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
