i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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