So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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