I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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