How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize