Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
