Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
