dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
