i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize