I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
