do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
