Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
