I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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