I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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