boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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