I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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