I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
