I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
