have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
