He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Found your dick twin last night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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