So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
