if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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