He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
its not stalking. its research.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
