I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Boobs are out for the taking
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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