I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
