If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
