Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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