I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
