The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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