I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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