Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize