then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize