I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
