Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
