He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
