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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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