So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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