I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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