Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
