Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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