I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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