Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
