She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
