is wine microwaveable?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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