i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
