new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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