I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
