everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
